Is it painful with the first time even though there's lubrication and preparation?

I was reading my favorite danmei(BL chinese novel) and the main couple finally had their first time having sex. Now the people in the comments section : one was arguing that the seme should've stopped when the uke was crying (it was very sweet fluffy danmei), on the other hand they were saying that maybe the uke was crying out of pleasure and just cursed out the seme's stamina...

Now, i want to know, is it really painful no matter what you do the first time (In gay sex)? Because I know for sure that women feel painful with their first time ( pleasure comes in the middle) bc the hymen breaks..
Or is true that with proper lubrication and patience, the first time won't hurt? Enlighten me please!