Biphobia and elitism

I have a bisexual friend and recently Billie Eilish has been “exposed” to have an alleged boyfriend which somehow people are mad about. I was discussing this reaction of others with my friend and she was really upset reading so many biphobic comments. Various people commented on variants of the “you're lying” rhetoric. It's almost like they feel betrayed that a bisexual woman picked a man, choosing to be straight rather than being with your own. (weirdly also has to do with feminism which I'll get into later) A very “it’s them or us” mentality, there's no in-between for them but that's what bisexuality is, you are in between two genders. Bisexual people are viewed as “less” gay than gay individuals, some even think they should be removed from the community. All of these notions fall into elitism. Elitism is the belief a group of people, the elite, should have more authority and influence because they are more likely to benefit society (the society being their community). They hate the oppressors and love the oppressed. They love pure gay people and hate the people that associate with the “enemy”. The people who associate with the “enemy” hurt their community because they're considered one of them. Lesbian and gay individuals are angry with bisexuals because they believe they can choose, to hide, escape, be a standard, to be straight. But is it a choice? By that logic, you can choose to not be gay then.


To ignore the factors of why most bisexual women tend to date men is ridiculous. A lot of women in society have been conditioned to be sitting ducks/prizes in the dating pool. You put on a nice dress, and some makeup, and hopefully, a man finds you pretty enough to ask you out. That's the position society puts women in. Role mothers, aunts, and other motherly figures push younger women into. Unfortunately, a lot of women even lesbian women have yet to come out of that mindset, especially in a hetero-normative society where hetero-normative rhetorics are pushed onto us no matter what women identify as. (of course, this isn't all women but I find that it's quite a bit of women…) men come up to women way more often than any woman would up to another woman. Hence they sometimes just tend to date men more often. Even bisexual women with the heaviest female lean I've seen have dated more men not because they're easier to date but because of a lack of opportunities with women. You could say why don't they go to gay clubs or whatever but remember the environment they may be subjected to. It's not uncommon for gay people to hide through straight relationships, it's odd that only bisexual people are demonized if they do it. They're not living as freely as you think.

Another reason is lesbianism is seen as being this radical feminist movement. If you date a man you're going against women apparently (insane). To them, you've failed to de-center men by being attracted and dating them(I've seen people say this….) But isn't that what you're doing? You're devaluing, and erasing the validation of bisexual women because they date men? It implies that a man can taint a woman, which contributes to the patriarchy. Ironic.

Elitism is singlehandedly destroying unity within all of these marginalized communities whatever the reason may be, it is embarrassing to witness. Complete idiocy. I could go on and on about elitism in different communities It is really pathetic and comes from insecurity about the authenticity of their own identity. How could someone that's half of what I am being considered on par with me? This is what their thought process sounds like to me. I feel like it gives them power within their community, a power they can't obtain outside of it. A weird form of purity that validates their oppression and invalidates others who don't meet their standard of purity. Idk maybe I'm crazy for thinking about it like this but I can't help but feel bad for my friend it's so horrible. Lemme know your thoughts, am I looking too deep into it