Preference, racism or something else?

I have a genuine question and would like to hear your opinions.

If someone says, “I don’t like dark-skinned/Black people because…” or “I don’t like light-skinned/white people,” would you consider that racism? Or does there have to be something more behind the statement for it to be considered racist?

And what do you think about simply using the words “Black” or “white” to describe someone? Is that inherently racist, or is it just a way of describing someone’s race/skin colour depending on the context?

I was thinking about this because I once watched a video on Snapchat that was basically a blind date. The girl asked the guy where he was from, and he said Iran. She immediately responded, “Oh, sorry, I don’t date Iranian people.”

Naturally, he asked why. She explained that she had previously dated an Iranian man and the relationship went very badly. She said the experience had left her with trauma, and because of that, she currently didn’t want to date another Iranian person until she had worked through what happened.

The guy responded by saying, “You know, not every Iranian person is the same.” She agreed and apologised, explaining that she didn’t mean that he personally was a bad person or that every Iranian person was the same. She simply didn’t feel ready to put herself in a situation that might remind her of her previous experience or trigger her.

The comments were full of people calling her racist.

Personally, I’m not completely convinced that what she said was necessarily racism. I can understand why someone might see it as unfair or discriminatory toward him, especially because she was judging him based on his nationality rather than anything he had personally done. At the same time, I also understand her perspective and why she might have a personal boundary after a traumatic experience.

Also, I sometimes feel awkward saying “Black people” or “white people” when describing someone because I worry that they might find it offensive (unless i actually know that person and they are okay with it. So I usually say “dark-skinned” or “light-skinned” instead. I’m not even sure if that sounds better or if I’m just overthinking it. But i heard a lot people saying black/white still, even here.