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Life decisions, wide awake
I swear it's on the days i am exhausted and have being doing so much exercise that i end up not being able to fall asleep. Like everything hurts and i just need peace, but my brain can't turn off. I'm stuck in a loop of my worst hits: every embarrassing thing that's ever happened, my regrets, and my anxiety about future events. It's like my body is finally still, but my brain is still running a marathon. I take melatonin too...
But since I'm here ranting, this entire week I've been faced with ultimatums that are also keeping awake. There's so many things i want to go to or do, but unfortunately if i do one thing, i can't do the other. And options are something I'm not that interested in, but i have a higher chance of getting into and will have better career benefits, or something that i'd much rather be doing, but have lower odds of getting in. It's like when you choose colleges and you can only Early Decision to one place, so do you pick the school that you're only kinda into, but you know will boost your chances and it's still a pretty good school (oh, and everyone expects you to go there anyways), or place your bets on an ivy you've been dreaming of but likely won't get into? I'm really starting to hate making life decisions
Honestly do the things you like firsthand, and don’t listen to anyone else or let other people decide for you. (Depends on what you want to do)
Take one thing at a time and try not to pressure yourself.
And about feeling exhausted while your brain is always “on,” I can definitely relate since I have GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). Some...... reply