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Do you ever feel like this? Also is there a solution?
Do you guys ever feel that you are the scum of this earth. A meaningless existence taking up space. A potential that is now lost. The dreams u had as a child (a loner, nerd and bullied kid) to be a new version of yourself as an adult that didn't suck (a successful woman...) and was confident. Most importantly growing up to no longer hating yourself....but then you grow up. And you're still ugly, still a loner and you find out that your dreams are shared by other people and they are better at them than you ever were. So you are left with longing...for what was your passion and sense of loss...losing your silver lining that you have it all figured out. Slowly, the doubt and anxiety starts creeping in...rejection after rejection after rejection. Even the hobbies you tried for fun feel dreadful or a waste of time. The parties and the crowds are overstimulating yet you feel alone...and tired. You can't even speak what's on your mind. Every sentence fidgety with uhs and ums. Finally you return to your nest, a safe haven, your bed and you lie there helplessly. Realising how you're so ordinary and behind your peers that had belief in themselves even if their potential wasn't greater than yours. And you ponder over your purpose of life or was there ever any? You reflect on what went wrong and you see yourself in the mirror. "Maybe it was me all along," you find yourself saying...looking at the child you had tried to kill the whole time.
Yes I do bc I hate myself. Though, I stopped comparing myself to others since I've understood that I'm different from them. I believe life has no meaning, we may give it a meaning but in itself it doesn't have one. reply