TW/ Coping mechanisms for the Uncoping

TW// content may disturb, includes self h+rm

Ok guys, so I've got PMDD and most likely autism, but since I was a child, I've had this horrible habit of biting and punching and scratching myself, including banging my head on the doors or walls. My parents just saw this as me being a bad child, or my father thinking I was even possessed.

Fast forwards, they put me on mirtazapine earlier this year and I've been clean until end of September/beginning of October onwards. And I've had a re-lapse, my doctors refuse to increase the mg to 30, and said I need to wait 4 months for therapy. Bit I've never learnt how to cope in the moments I essentially go berserk, and would like some help.

I've been really stressed since being forced to withdraw from uni, and ultimately becoming what my parents had always said I am, "a useless, lazy and pathetic bitch woo can't do anything right."

So could anyone help a girl out...? I've kinda fucked up my face real bad-