Remi's question page 1 (65)

Why is it common in BL? Why is it that ukes can't do no wrong and it's always the people around the uke that is fucked up? I hate it. I want ukes to be wrong in their own right as well, and be condemned. And if there is some human reasoning for them to be like that, making them not worthy of being fully condemned, I want the same for every other characters as well. I don't want some specially treated, audience pampered ukes, whiles every other character is scrutinized by the readers, I want ukes to face scrutiny as well. I want other characters to be able to be pampered and favored over ukes even when ukes are made out to be spotless innocent creatures, I just find ukes to always be written as innocent and can't do no wrong, or if they do, they are still loved and pampered where other characters aren't given the same, so I hate it. We need a change!!

I was reading this article that another user had shared under the other forum post about porn addictions, the article is this:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too

And I couldn't help but link what it was talking about "porn addiction" to how people view and treat fujoshis and them reading BL. To quote the article: "Instead, higher levels of moral conflict over porn use predict higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, and diminished sexual well-being, as well as religious and spiritual struggles." And I couldn't help but link this back to how people treat fujoshis. Making out women who are reading BL as inherently morally suspicious. Inflicting a moral conflict in them, about how they are fetishizers, and the triumphant win for doing all this is how it can bring this demographic, higher levels of stress, anxiety, depression, shame. I feel like this is people's main motivation. To inflict this psychological distress on women about their consumption of BL through deeming them as fetishizers.

Would like to hear from fujoshis, or female readers of BL about this link being made.

I was watching a tiktok video on Connor from Detroit becomes human, how he was experiencing boredom and how that's very human, and that it goes to show him being more that just machine, and I was like really? You can use boredom to identify humanity? I never thought of it that way.

But It also made me think about this one review I saw under the Little Mushroom novel on novelupdates, where someone was like "the MC is more human than some of the human characters despite being a mushroom" because I think the human characters were cruel or selfish (I haven't read the novel). And again I was like, Really? A stupid mushroom is deemed more human than humans. Don't humans themselves demonstrate what humans are, even the most selfish and cruel ones? Or is humanity just all the positive traits?

I don't know.... what do you guys think?

For me it's diluc and zhongli. Diluc because I lost my 50/50 to him once so I'm forever holding a grudge against him. Any content about him I just view it through how I once lost an important 50/50 to him so my opinion of him will always be sour. and zhongli because I couldn't understand how people found him hot or fawn over him when first of all he's old and second, his design with the colors reminds me of cockroaches! I came to like him a bit with some lore behind him, but he still looks like a cockroach, and he's still old, so you're never going to see me fan-girling him or have me care to highly regard him.

What about you guys?

For instance you thought you didn't like a certain trope or dynamic but then ended up liking a couple that had that dynamic and it made you rethink what you're into.

I watched this video where this youtuber talks about going to art school and he watched a friend of his perform their work, where the friend had opened with a five minute monologue about 'gooning'. And the youtuber found no matter how much of an open mind he tried to have he couldn't get it. It wasn't until later when he talked with some of his guy friends, that his friends opened up to him about their porn addictions, some struggling with it since middle school, and that the monologue was the first time they've ever felt seen and that their addiction wasn't treated like a joke.

After hearing and watching that I felt like I gained I new perspective. I realized there's some/a lot of vulnerability in that.. but idk. I feel like the stigma behind porn addictions is still really bad to take this new found perspective seriously.

What do you guys believe?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too

Who ever shared this porn addiction article it was really interesting and eye opening. I think others should read it. I want to hear others' opinions of this pleasee

I like sassy bottoms, so I'm team sassy bottom. >_<

I'm not trying to have a debate or a conversation about certain critiques in this post, I'm just asking straight up isn't this misogyny?

Isn't denying female readers nuance for what they read misogyny? As if we don't live or society wasn't built on patriarchy that has shaped how women lived, what experiences they had, how they cope with the world. Like I'm not trying to say critiques aren't allowed but when we don't take into account or try to care for the nuance of why women engage with or write certain stories, relying on one-note assumptions or assessments, isn't that just straight up misogyny? I think it's interesting how nuance is demanded with things like "not all men" but no nuance is considered for women, especially when it comes to the stories they engage with. Again im not saying critiques can't happen, I don't mind if critiques happen, but I don't understand why critiques must become sweeping judgements and generalization of women that becomes the general idea of how we view those women, despite whatever nuance they have or give, when also on the flip side people are more vigilant in generalizing men going "not all men".

I think critiques are valid to make and have but I think the nuance should also be engaged with, not to justify, but to address the root problems. Don't you guys think so too? And if we don't care to give women nuance or engage with their nuance, to the point where we rarely do and instead run on the sweeping generalizations we make of them, what does that say about us? Aren't we now the pawns of patriarchy, doing it's job for it? Blaming women, excerting most if not all our energy on deeming a 'bad'/'unpleasant' women and putting them down, deflecting from the primary boogeyman/puppet master the patriarchy.

I also think it's interesting about what rights we think we have to deny a group their nuance and their context of being under a systemic power. Are we saying or telling them they aren't /that/ affected by that system? Why do we feel the need to do that? To impose our judgements over their nuance? Isn't this a power play? I could go on but I'm stopping here.

Like even generalizations against the rich, white people, cishet, men?

Asking because I woke up to a reddit post under the subreddit r/changemyview titled, "CMV: Modern day feminism generalizes against men in ways that would consider racist, xenophobic, or bigoted if used against other groups - especially when using offender statistics" and OP tried to paint how the way people generalize men online would come of as wrong if the same language was used to talk about other minorities. Someone in the comments pointed out how generalizations are more accepted to groups that are seen in power, like the rich, white people, cishet people etc. and though the commenter understand this precedance they still dislike generalizations at large.

Most pointed out to OP though that, what they are claiming is modern feminism in their post, is just an extreme being rewarded online and by the algorithm. Most feminists aren't like this in the real world.

I was just curious on your guy's thoughts on the generalizations part? Do you guys think some forms of generalization aren't that concerning like generalizing groups that have systemic power? For me I've never questioned it.

Or do you guys think all forms of generalization is bad and that more nuanced and accurate language should be encouraged/used instead?

Do you guys think people can still think deeply about things even through consuming 'slop' media? Sometimes I see people call a piece of media slop and use that to gauge or look down upon the intelligence of the people who enjoy that piece of media, but I just wonder, can't people still think deeply about things even whiles consuming slop? Like being able to do that isn't locked behind prestige media, people can do it even when enjoying or consuming media labeled slop, no? I like to believe people have great capacity to think deeply and conjure deep meanings or understanding without a piece of media having to do it for them or direct them on it. Hence I think people can do it with 'slop' media. What do you guys think?

Like girls play with Barbie dolls and wear dresses whiles boys play in the mud, and with cars type of thing. Raising a girl and a boy with that kind of divide or would you raise them in both types of 'worlds'?

Im obsessed with listening to Tate McRae's songs like Dear God, Siren Sounds, Run for the hills, 2 hands, Just keep watching, because I like to imagine some love stories based off of them ^3^. They're just the perfect material to imagine the kind of romance I like. What songs do the same for you guys?

Bonus question: what do you think makes a good/great female protagonist?

I'm seeing the title of a new donghua that came out called All Wises Comes True, and it made me want to talk about them. Ngl donghua animations can be very spectacular. Anyways my favs so far are Green Snake, Nezha, You Yao, Thousands of Autumns, guys tell me yours.

I'm grateful for the user Sunnysidebrainrot for translating the Q&A, author's notes, worldbuilding notes for Sunnyside Daycare Classmates.

Grateful for Kaoru for uploading and updating Sunnyside daycare classmates.

Grateful for all the readers who read Sunnyside Daycare Classmates alongside me.

Who are you guys grateful for?

I'm getting love island usa on my feed, one of the contestants is Kenzie and she's blonde and people have identified her as a 'dumb blonde'. But then my sister was watching the flash series on the TV and I saw one of the characters, Eddie Thawne is blonde and he reminded me of Thor, and I thought, "hmm.. blonde men. I've never heard of blonde men being stereotyped as dumb. But I think Thor is kind of like a dumb blonde, but I never seen anybody call him a dumb blonde or associate him as a dumb blonde.." but I'm not saying this to say men should face this stereotype too, just why does it exist and mostly directed towards woman/girls.

My favs are Mo Guanshan from '19 days', Lu Lanqiao from 'God's Id Card' and I'm really loving Hyun from 'The Secret to Winning an Unrequitted Love'. For me these three are the GOATs bc I just like their characters so much. ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ