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I had this one rlly fucking mean guy ask me out. He bullied a lot of students smaller than him and timid, he smoked behind the school, in his car, wherever. The most basic high school bully/druggy. Before I got in my car at the end of the day, he stopped me and said he was into me and stuff. I thought 'the fuck, u look and act like an autistic rat, hells no'. What I actually said was something like, 'uuuhhhh sorry but no'. I then got into my car locked it and fucking blasted out of the parking lot. This experience hurt me mentally and physically.

I've made friends in the past, but they never really treated me like a real friend. They treated me as a lesser being. In a way like i was nothing, like my opinion didn't matter. She always tried to invalidate me, and make me feel worse so she could feel better. Whenever i talked back to her she wouldn't talked to me for months. She would make all my "friends" hate me and talk behind me so i could hear them. After time, and time again she always came back. Over time she started to loose friends, but I was always there, and i always forgave her. After all that i was her only friend left. She isolated me when she lost all her friends so i couldn't make any. It's been two months since i decided to cut her off from my life. When i did that i felt amazing. like a weight had been lifted, but now i feel empty. I'm not quite sure how i should make friends anymore. Can anyone help? (●'◡'●)ﾉ

So, as the title says, I don’t think I’m strictly heterosexual. I mean, I could be, but that for now has been pushed off to the side in favour of questioning what I’m really attracted to. So, what am I attracted to? I don’t know. My fictional crushes always seem to be girls, although I know that means nothing. I actually started questioning my sexuality because of a Harry Potter character, Pansy Parkinson. There’s nothing special about her, but in my mind she’s like the ideal girl. I’ve also had a dream about kissing my friend, who also happens to be a girl, although it’s probably nothing. Im not attracted to her or anything, but the dream suddenly came back to me while I was showering and I was so startled that I literally just froze and sat on the ground for a moment. But I think the biggest thing that has me questioning, is Titanic. Not the movie in general, but more specifically Rose. I was nine and I was watching it by myself while my parents were doing something else. Well, you know, that “let me paint you like one of my French ladies” scene shows up, and I’m kind of just mesmerized. It makes me sound like a pervert. But I couldn’t get it out of my mind. I replayed the scene multiple times becuase I got thing really pleasant feeling in my stomach. It made me really guilty but after that I looked it up online and found even more stuff which made me really guilty because that happens when I look at that stuff. The thing is, I don’t just look at the dude when watching that stuff, but also the girl. Heck, this may be too much information but I have gotten off from lesbian stuff and well as gay and most commonly straight stuff. The only thing that makes me uncertain is that I have never had a crush on a girl in real life. I’ve had a crush on a dude, though only one, which lets me know that I’m straight, but I don’t know if that’s the only thing I’m attracted to. I’m not put off but imagining myself with a boy or a girl. In honesty i don’t really think that there’s much of a difference with genders and would be fine with anything, but i don’t know if I’m just thinking it but when it comes down to I’ll only be attracted to the opposite sex. And I can’t imagine myself ever getting married because the whole figure is indistinguishable between genders. I just don’t know what I feel and I’m kind of stupid and pathetic, so I don’t know if I’m straight or not. It may be fine to some people to not label themselves, but I want to know myself the best and it makes me frustrated to not know. That’s why I’m asking. Sorry, I’m stupid so I don’t know. I’m sorry. Also, congrats for reading this long thing.