i’m sorry that i am sharing this with you all
-Zhongli slams you against his pillar, making you unable to move he leans in to your ear, you can feel his warm damp breath on your neck. he whispers “Osmathus wine… still tastes the same as i remember… but where are those who share the memory?” you wake up in cold sweat you look to your side. you remember. you lost the 50/50 to qiqi. you chuckle, the pain seems even worse, your f2p self lets a tear fall down your face. ‘if i can’t get zhongli as a free to play, theres only one thing i can do.’ You pulls out your credit card. you get off your sweat damped bed and sit down in your greasy gamer chair. you take a sip of your Zhongli bath water you bought for $90. You sigh as you load up genshin, knowing what you are about to do. You click on the most expensive item purchasable. You click, and with that single click you are now a whale. you think you should be punished for your ‘oh-so-bad’ deed. you think of zhongli whipping you, drool drips down your chin. you quickly wipe it off and close out of the shop, clicking on the wish menu. your hand slides the mouse delicately, hovering over the 10x Wish button. You press down your pointer finger, moving your hand once more to convert the genisis crystals to primogems. You click the 10x Wish button once again, the screen flicks on to the wishing animation. As the wish slides down the screen, you could feel your pulse increase, as sweat dripped down your back you saw, the wish turned… gold. you stand up in excitement. “zhongli sensei…” your body shivers as you udder his name. the first thing you got was the harbinger of dawn. you click again. ‘Debate Club’ it reads. The next thing you got was a character, your fourth constellation of yanfei. You chuckle, and continue. Your mouth slowly opened and you began to scream, the next click was… the 5 star. You screamed. “Zhongli came home!” you shiver. You sit back down in your chair, knowing the deed had been done. You clicked again. it was a 4 star character. Noelle. clicking your left mouse button went to the next pull, it was… another 5 star!? you fall out of your chair onto the floor before you can see who you got. Before standing back up you wonder… What 5 star could it possibly be?
You get back up, but quickly fall over again. It was… zhongli. you got him twice, in a single ten pull. ‘Maybe becoming a whale was meant for me.’ you think to yourself. with a few more clicks you could see, the two zhongli’s next to eachother. Pressing the x brough you off the page, you got off the wishing menu and onto the character menu, which had a ‘!’ on it. You scroll to the fsr back, which there is your new zhongli. you click on his constellations, and add his fist constellation onto him. you lick your lips dominately, yes. you are one hell of a simp. you level him up. 20,40,50,60,70,80… even to 90. you grinded months for him. you give him a LV80 prototype starglitter as you are a f2p. you get off the character menu, and onto your party. you replace your LV80 Sucrose with your Zhongli. Your drool wont stop falling at the sight of zhongli’s ass. You stop yourself from thirsting anymore, and turn away from the computer. you decide to play him tomorrow as you are not ready to hesr his soft juicy moans, as he gets pounded by hilichurls, and slimes. you hover you hand over your mouse, soon pushing down and pressing on the paimon menu, then proceeding to click on the exit button. you turn off your computer and fall onto your bed, hoping that you have another dream about your sweet, sweet zhongli.
did being an insomniac
did read books
