beta
I really hope they don't kill him off. I really want to see TJ succeed. Not with Ian though, that relationship needs to be let go of. Ian wants his own future, TJ deserves a new start. I fear that it will either end in him dying or becoming the villain. I really don't want to see that, but I can see how those two are the most obvious paths for a story of this genre. Fuckkkk
A ramble for if he does get better however:
On the basis of if he were to "find another", food for thought, I also don't know how I feel about him getting in a relationship to "fix" things. Why I care about him so much is because I relate to the low point he is at, the things he went through (obviously my own experience not being the same, not gang related or whatever) and from my trauma and environment I went to a really dark morbid place. I was at the "man with nothing to lose" point.
Problem is, getting into a relationship with the person I am with is exactly how I escaped that. He pushes me to get professional help, to get what I need to build a stable life, and to be a happy person. He challenges my flaws and does not sugar coat his words. I credit him for saving my life, because without him I would have either become someone I could not predict the depravity and emptiness of, or I would have chosen to exit life on my own terms.
The thing is, I was extremely lucky. Most relationships don't work like that and for anyone going through something similar, you can't depend on that. It's also a huge undertaking for the other person, and I could not ever ask the man I love to do the things he's done for me by his own will.
It would be way more meaningful to see TJ succeed in changing his life by his own will, and perhaps AFTER, getting into a relationship where he can heal his most inner wounds. He's very obviously tied to love, as the pain he feels for Ian is evidence of such, but its also his obsession. It's unhealthy, and he needs a different form of love, and for a different person.
Anyways, while that's a bit random I just wanted to write some more thoughts. I hope he doesn't die or go down a darker path. I am prepared for that outcome, but I am hoping so strongly that he will be okay.
First time I'm doing this. IDK if anything will fit what I'm looking for, but I'll give it a shot.
Looking for reccossss
Shit I enjoy:
BL, mature, action.
Preferably full color / webtoon style.
I like a bit of angst, but it's not needed.
BDSM, Sadism/masochism, bondage or whatever kinky shit is a huge bonus.
I really love works with hella dynamic art styles, gritty and action packed.
Complex story lines that keep you engaged. Sex and such is like a nice bonus, but the focus is on the story and/or relationship development.
NO rape, bestiality, underage anything, generally abusive (in a non-kinky way) relationships, bi / female included sexual stuff (Just makes me a bit uncomfortable as a gay trans dude.)
Heavy topics are perfectly fine, and even sometimes good. I read grimdark shit, so if a character has or actively experiences assault or abuse, but it is not romanticized / fetishized, perfectly fine.
A painter behind the curtain, semantic error, King's maker
Let me try!
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/the_beast_must_die/ Has rape but no 1 for plot. Ml has no feelings causo hes psychopath.
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/beware_of_the_full_moon_in_march/
Has rape, s1 full plot. S2 redemption/love arc
Not what you ask but.. manga:
https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/itou_san_kuraka_sui/
Unfortunately I already have the last two on my reading list (forgot to add kings maker til now, but I have been reading it regardless), but the first one I have not! And it looks very promising from what I have read thus far. Thank you!
The first two having rape certainly makes me sigh, but I'll give them a go nonetheless, as many BL have it and it's hard to avoid. Though, the second one's art style is very nice, and character designs look to be of my taste. Hope the SA in it doesn't sour it too much for me haha. I look forward to it very much for its first impressions.
Last one looks very interesting story wise. A gritty dark plot that, from the few comments I read, ends in a feel good way is definitely something I'd like. Hell yes.
Thanks man!
I binged this to chapter 101 in one sitting. Jesus fucking christ this story is a rollercoaster.
There’s a lot I could say, as a addict rambler, but I don’t know if I even want to start with this one…
I just hope things wont crash and burn. I am invested, but my heart has been tugged to many directions I think its gonna be torn apart by this shit. Gods fucking balls dude.