I Need Help

okay so like a majority of you out there i like to read yaoi, and more specifically smut, for the romance. like yes it’s hot but at core i’m not really getting horny reading it, more like i enjoy the sex in a mostly platonic way. i’m not sure if that makes sense, but the main take away is this — as much as i enjoy yaoi and smutty scene, im doing so in a way that doesn’t make me aroused.

until one day i made the mistake of getting myself off to yaoi.... and screwed up. it wasn’t like a romance story or anything, it was hentai that i somehow stumbled upon and got me all hot and bothered. but now when i read yaoi it makes me feel weird like i’m still not really horny and i’m still interested in the romance but i do feel like a slight bit of arousal and i hate it bc i just want to go back to aesthetically liking the smut.

help???

Hi. Recently I realized I lack social skills and communicating with people is hard. I don’t consider myself an introverted person, neither an extrovert. I really want to be able to have a better and more positive communication with people but I feel like I can’t. I want to have a lot of friends, online and irl. But I always think other people probably get the wrong idea about me. So I need advices. I want people to recognize me, but I also want them to consider me as their friend. I’ve always had problems making friends since I was young ( not to mention I didn’t get to spend much time with other people)
+ I don’t know if can help you to get a better idea of my problem or not, but recently I suspected that I might be dealing with moderate depression. That’s why I decided to communicate with people more because I think it might help me feel better about myself and my future
I feel so hopeless when it comes to relationships with others
There are people around me, but I can’t really communicate with them properly and some people really make me uncomfortable, I want to have a better relationship with my old friends and have even more new friends but talking to them more often doesn’t seem to work
I’m afraid that nobody will ever consider me a precious friend