Pegging A Dude

OK WHEN I WAS IN 4TH GRADE, THERE WAS THIS ONE CUTE GUY WHO ALWAYS CATCHED MY EYE ,SINCE THEN MY EYES WERE ALWAYS FOLLOWING HIM, BOOM BOOM YADA YADA AFTER COVID I SAW HIM AGAIN IN 7TH BUT IN A DIFFERENT CLASS AND NGL HE LOOKED DAMN CUTE BUT AS A PERSON I AM, I WAS LIKE NO I CANT LIKE HIM, CUZ I FUCKING KNOW FOR A FACT THAT CONFESSING TO HIM WILL ONLY BREAK MY HEART, SO I CONTINUED TO SEE HIM FROM A DISTANCE, MY EYES FOLLOWED HIM EVERYWHERE LIKE LITERALLY EVERYWHERE CLUBS, LUNCH , VISITING A DIFF CLASS, SEEING HIM GO HOME AND MIND U I AM BUS STUDENT WHILE HE IS A PRIVATE STUDENT SO EVERYDAY I WENT IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION TO SEE HIM GO HOME, SEEING HIM FROM MY CLASS WINDOW GOSH I SOUND LIKE A OBSESSED FAN AHHHHHH. SOON IT IS 8TH GRADE WE ARE IN THE SAME CLASS THO I REMEMBER I WAS VERY CRINGE AND EMBARRASING BACK THEN GOD KNOWS WHAT I DID BACK IN EIGHTH GRADE, AND STILL I WAS LIKE NO I CANT LIKE HIM SO I USED HIM AS ACADEMIC MOTIVATION WHICH WORKED CUZ I SCORED HIDHER THAN HIM THAT YEAR AND HE IS FUCKING TOPPER SINCE ELEMENTARY YADA YADA IT IS 9TH GRADE DIFFERENT CLASS BUT STILL I WAS KEEPING TABS ON HIM, 10TH GRADE WE FOCUS ON STUDIES CUZ WE HAS BOARDS[ MANDATORY EXAM] THAT YEAR AND STILL I KEPT THINKING ABOUT HIM AFTER ALL THIS TIME, AND NOW FINALLY THE PRESENT 11TH GRADE WE CHOOSE OUR STREAMS HE TOOK PCM[MATHS] AND I TOOK COMMERCE , AND I FEEL A INFERIORITY COMPLEX B/W US THOUGH WE HAVNT HAD A SINGLE CONVERSATION , I FEEL LIKE I DONT DESRVE TO LIKE HIM AND I WANT TO FORGET ABOUT HIM, BUT HOW IN THE FUCKING DAMN HELL CAN I FORGET ABOUT HIM WHEN I SEE HIM IN SCHOOL, WE SWITCH CLASSES EVERY ALTERNATIVE DAY. FUCK I SAW HIM TODAY AGAIN AND U KNOW WHATS THE WORST THING I DONT THINK HE EVEN KNOWS ME WAHHHHHHHH I FEEL SO DUMBB PLS HOW CAN I FORGET ABUT HIM, I TRIED HAVING A NEW CRUSH WHICH HELPED TOO SOME EXTENT BUT I STILL COULDNT FORGET ABOUT THAT DAMN GUY. THOUGH I REMEMBER THERE IS THIS NEW ADMISSION GUY WHICH CAME THIS YEAR , AND I REMEMBER HAVING A CRUSH ON HIM IN ELEMENTARY, DAMN I HAD A LOT CRUSHES. BESIDE THAT ANY REMEDY ANYBODY?? I AM READY TO FACE HARSH CRITICISM SO PLS BE BRUTALLY HONEST ╥﹏╥