Am I in love with my friend??

So I've known this girl for like most of my life. We're not best friend close but she's kinda one of the only friends I have. Recently she told me in passing she had a boyfriend and when I got home I lowkey cried. I kinda got jealous because what do you mean she's willing to let someone into her life just like that but keeps me at arms length?? Am I just not good enough? How long has she been seeing him and not told me? I guess I'm just jealous of him, that he got closer to her than I'll ever be. She's the coolest, most beautiful and thoughtful person I know, I mean I even like holding her hand. I really wish we were closer. But am I in "love" with her? Or am I just upset because she's one of my only friends and is drifting away from me?