am i dumb?

ok, so, I'm going to tell y'all my problem and I want your opinion to be HURTFUL as HELL (like I'm going to be awake from my delusions).

So, I have a crush on this guy, let's call him “J”. I have a crush on this guy for 3 or 4 years now (this is unusual to me because if i have a crush, it will just stays for less than a month) and then, when I was in the 8th grade I finally got the courage to confess my feelings for him by creating some dummy account. Fast forward, he accepts my feelings and told ME that he will think about it (my feelings for him). We chat and chat for hours. Fast forward again, I finally have the courage to tell him my real identity and this is when things gets mess up. He will give me some mixed signals because he will talk to me in some days for hours and he tell me some sweet things then some days he will just ignores me (ik he's ignoring me because he's online in every socials he have).

I finally have the courage to ask him “what are we?” and then he just replied “ewan ko, ano ba tayo sa paningin mo?”/ “idk, what are we in your POV?” (something like that). Then, he deleted his ig account. I have been trying to communicate with him for sometime now in his fb account. so, am i dumb for loving him even thought we are not in a relationship? T_T