my friends have changed since getting a bf
i have a feeling that my friends have changed since they got a boyfriend. one of my friends got a boyfriend, and she hangs out with her bf's friends alot. i have no problem with that, but one day she came to meet me. and we were just hanging out, and we decided we'll go have some chai(tea) from outside in the evening. her bf and his friends live nearby, and she had to give something to her bf, so i had no problem inviting them for chai as well. we get to the market, and her bf's friends decide that they'll have egg rolls from some shop before. now, i live in a place where there's a curfew time (9:30 pm) so i can't be late. they're all boys (except me and my friend) so they don't have any curfew time (and my friend's curfew time is 10:15 pm). she already knew that my curfew time is earlier, and i even mentioned it half an hour beforehand. ofcourse, i can't mention it in front of her boyfriend and his friends that “hey, we decided on having chai, so why the sudden change of plans, when it was YOU who wanted to meet me in the first place”. (she was the one who was adamant on wanting to come to my room, and hanging out. i suggested going to some fun place, and she refused bc she has already been there THRICE with her boyfriend. so i was like okay, next time. she also had an exam coming up 2 days ahead. so i suggested meeting up after her exam, but she was adamant so i was like "okay no problem from my side").
so ofcourse the order is late, and the shop we went to was predominantly a non-vegetarian food catering shop. they do have veg options (like, 2 or 3). i'm the only one who has veg food choices, i'm not asking them to be veg like me, i have no problem with their eating choices. but it just felt like they didn't consider my eating choices at all. (am i being entitled here? i don't know. i know i shouldn't ask them to go to a veg-only shop but going to a place where veg options are limited when you have someone who's veg is a bit ignorant to me. it's like going to a cafe with limited non-lactose options when one of the person is lactose intolerant. we can just go to a place where either non-lactose options are plentiful so everyone can choose accordingly. i would do that, even if i'm not lactose intolerant, bc i know one of my friends is). now the order is late, so i have to get my portion packed (i didn't even want to order it) and we didn't have chai, and now i have to walk to my place alone at night all bc her boyfriend and co. decided something else. great!
i just felt a bit sad bc i can't say to HER bf that we had different plans before (it would be rude, I'm not friends with her bf right?) but she could've said it and she didn't. didn't even message me to ask if i reached my place or not. then next day, posts in our friend group the pictures of her hanging out with them and it looks like i was the one who joined their hangout impromptu(we had this friend group before she and 2 of my other friends got a bf). crazy.
i just feel like they're losing me, honestly. i won't say it to their faces bc what can i even say? but i can feel the cracks slipping in, and i have started feeling nostalgic, missing the friendship even if we are still friends. i really like spending time with them, but it seems like they've changed, and my space in their life has decreased. we've gone distant, now all we ever talk is about her bf or what she's upto, i feel like i have nothing to contribute to the conversation. i can talk about my research project and career uncertainties but it brings up a sad vibe so we don't talk about it much. i am forgetting what did we even talk about before they got a bf?
i have always felt that girls change after getting a bf, i don't like it honestly. they'll say they haven't changed, but i feel it. is it just means or girls with bfs are just so exhausting to hang out with?
i still love my friends, but it's different now. i love what we used to be before boys came into picture.
they're really losing me. i feel like i'm being left behind. and all because what? i don't have a boyfriend? i don't even want a boyfriend. a girl gets a bf and suddenly wants all her friends to find a bf too like what?
