I Feel like ill be deleting myself soon

I dont know the betrayal i have had has just killed me alive and my health issues doesnt makes it much easier. With that if only i had stable finances that i didnt had too worry about everyday for having a secure life. Like this all just feels meaning less like i dont feel like i have any purpose left in life all i ever wanted was stability with someone who would give his soul and truly understand me but i guess at this age of 30 i have gotten enough reality checks that i cant go any longer if that doesnt exists in this world i always wanted too share past and future but both and my family betrayed me too i dont want too be a burden on anyone anymore its better i end this now before it gets worse cause if this world cant offer me what i need then ill just quit this pathetic game. Also i dont see anything getting better anytime soon i have begged for reason too live like a fucking beggar but i can't why should i even try to find a reason too live if there was any in the first place it would have appeared but yeah i guess i wont fucking find any reason now its enough.