about forgetting something
I thought that it was normal until i saw someone on tik tok say "hitting your kids and saying its discipline is messed up"
I never actually thought that it was abuse
I thought that being hit when i made a mistake was normal
Your telling me it wasn't?
So when my parents hit me when i was 5 it wasn't normal?
Your telling me that when i said "i understand i did something wrong, its okay to hit me" wasn't normal????
Your telling me being knocked over on a high chair by your dad because you broke a single piece of glassware wasn't normal?
Your telling me that i was scared of holding or at least EVEN TOUCHING something glass wasn't normal?
SO IS THIS WHY I WANTED TO DIE AT 7???
I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT
WDYM THAT WASN'T NORMAL?
Being scared of older people screaming at me wasn't normal?
Flinching when dad knocked really loudly on the door wasn't normal?
Being afraid of any grown men, relatives included, wasn't normal?
Your really telling me all these weren't normal...?
Then... My whole childhood wasn't normal?
I never actually thought that it was abuse
I thought that being hit when i made a mistake was normal
Your telling me it wasn't?
So when my parents hit me when i was 5 it wasn't normal?
Your telling me that when i said "i understand i did something wrong, its okay to hit me" wasn't normal????
Your telling me being knocked over on a high chair by your dad because you broke a single piece of glassware wasn't normal?
Your telling me that i was scared of holding or at least EVEN TOUCHING something glass wasn't normal?
SO IS THIS WHY I WANTED TO DIE AT 7???
I THOUGHT IT WAS ALL MY FAULT
WDYM THAT WASN'T NORMAL?
Being scared of older people screaming at me wasn't normal?
Flinching when dad knocked really loudly on the door wasn't normal?
Being afraid of any grown men, relatives included, wasn't normal?
Your really telling me all these weren't normal...?
Then... My whole childhood wasn't normal?
about question
So umーbefore I start I'll just point out that I am a female.
I think I'm in the middle of a sexual crisis right now.
Since little I always had the thought of wanting to be a boy on the back of my head. And these days that thought has been on my mind constantly.
The thought of having s*x actually scares me. And I honestly don't wanna gave birth. But both of that thought was only because I heard they're both painful (well they said s*x is only painful for the first time). I honestly wanted to have a pe**s and I'm quite envious of the people who had one ( ._.)
I'm straight. Which means I'm attracted to male. That means I wanted to be held. But I mean 'back there'.
I said I wanna be a male but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to female though. I dunno, seeing a female's naked body actually grossed me out even though I literally had the same thing on my own body.
Sorry if this is a mess. Because the inside of my head itself is already a mess.
Is there anyone who is having the same problem as me? Does this mean I'm gay? Agghhh please help meeeee (;´Д`)
I think I'm in the middle of a sexual crisis right now.
Since little I always had the thought of wanting to be a boy on the back of my head. And these days that thought has been on my mind constantly.
The thought of having s*x actually scares me. And I honestly don't wanna gave birth. But both of that thought was only because I heard they're both painful (well they said s*x is only painful for the first time). I honestly wanted to have a pe**s and I'm quite envious of the people who had one ( ._.)
I'm straight. Which means I'm attracted to male. That means I wanted to be held. But I mean 'back there'.
I said I wanna be a male but that doesn't mean I'm attracted to female though. I dunno, seeing a female's naked body actually grossed me out even though I literally had the same thing on my own body.
Sorry if this is a mess. Because the inside of my head itself is already a mess.
Is there anyone who is having the same problem as me? Does this mean I'm gay? Agghhh please help meeeee (;´Д`)
about genshin impact
Not even 12 hours since the Eula trailer came out and there is already an army of Eula X Amber shippers. NGL, they do look good together.
about question
So my Granny was watching some stoopid video about vegetables and this guy is showing his whole garden then he comes to the cucumbers and he compares it to his hand and this cucumber was so thick so fuckin thickk and so longand all I can think about rn is how much I wanna shove it up my holes... It was like caius thick and long
about scary
I want you guys to open myreadingmanga and click the first thing you see, and give me the link or name here lol, lets see your pain. Heres mine: https://myreadingmanga.info/mazjojo-soccer-stars-kaichi/
about make a picrew
17 05,2021
about question
about favorite youtube channel
So last year I was in 9th grade and we also have this 2 gc for our section, 1 for with teachers and 1 without them. And I was only in the gc where there are teachers and that gc was basically dead if nothing important was a topic. So like 3 months later I asked something at my classmate about a project and they told me it was in the gc so I opened my messenger and saw nothing...so I got even more suspicious since I was already suspicious at the start(cuz the gc would most likely be made at the first day of school)......so the day after I borrowed my friends phone and looked at the messenger and there it was....the gc where "I" the only one from the class did not joined.....I mean for 3 months no one even noticed and added me on the group- not even my "friends" wadahek!!
It may not seem a big deal for yall but it hurts okay! So I told my friend why I wasn't added so she told our other friend and added me. I swear I was about to cry that time- gush! Okay the end!!
It may not seem a big deal for yall but it hurts okay! So I told my friend why I wasn't added so she told our other friend and added me. I swear I was about to cry that time- gush! Okay the end!!
about helping with problems
about question
about favorite youtube channel
I belong to a friend group. There's 4 of us. The other 3 were friends before I met them. I moved to my new school and they let me into their friend group which I am forever grateful for because I was very introverted (still am but it was WORSE back then).
But today I was swiping through my stories and I saw that they had hung out together. They went to a nice garden to take pictures for graduation and they watched a movie afterwards. And then they had sushi (that was the most hurtful because I'm a crackhead for food). And I was never notified of such a thing. Not even in our group chat. Not even asked "Are you free this Sunday?" I sent a message to their story with the food "Oooohh that looks good " Yunno, kind of passive aggressive but with no ill intent. And one of them responded "Yes it was!! We went out to take pictures for graduation. We didn't ask you because we know you already took yours."
And that's the messed up part. She could have just stopped at "Yes it was!" But then she felt the need to explain herself because SHE KNEW I was hurt by this. They knew and they still did it. And secondly, one of them already had their grad pics done and yet she was still invited and went with them. Third, they planned all of this most likely, which means they have their own private group chat. That's fine with me, I had always suspected it. But it kind of hurts sometimes whenever we're hanging out and they have their own inside jokes and I just smile and pretend I get it. And it kind of hurts because what is it that they feel they need to hide from me? I feel like a jerk for being paranoid and suspecting them but I've always had trust issues and I can't help it.
Right now I'm just overthinking about what I could have possibly done wrong. Did I say something cringy? Am I too introverted for them (all of them are extroverts)? Were they afraid of me ruining the mood because of my introvertedness? I've never talked behind their backs so I know for sure it wasn't something I said.
Honestly I don't know anymore. I'm not hurt that they went out and hung out without me (maybe just a little hurt cuz of the sushi)... I'm hurt because this just confirms all of the paranoia and suspicions I've had. To be fair, they were friends first and they'll probably always have a stronger bond. But I just don't know if they even see me as a friend or if they see me as the girl they took in and now they regret it cuz it's just too much trouble.
But today I was swiping through my stories and I saw that they had hung out together. They went to a nice garden to take pictures for graduation and they watched a movie afterwards. And then they had sushi (that was the most hurtful because I'm a crackhead for food). And I was never notified of such a thing. Not even in our group chat. Not even asked "Are you free this Sunday?" I sent a message to their story with the food "Oooohh that looks good " Yunno, kind of passive aggressive but with no ill intent. And one of them responded "Yes it was!! We went out to take pictures for graduation. We didn't ask you because we know you already took yours."
And that's the messed up part. She could have just stopped at "Yes it was!" But then she felt the need to explain herself because SHE KNEW I was hurt by this. They knew and they still did it. And secondly, one of them already had their grad pics done and yet she was still invited and went with them. Third, they planned all of this most likely, which means they have their own private group chat. That's fine with me, I had always suspected it. But it kind of hurts sometimes whenever we're hanging out and they have their own inside jokes and I just smile and pretend I get it. And it kind of hurts because what is it that they feel they need to hide from me? I feel like a jerk for being paranoid and suspecting them but I've always had trust issues and I can't help it.
Right now I'm just overthinking about what I could have possibly done wrong. Did I say something cringy? Am I too introverted for them (all of them are extroverts)? Were they afraid of me ruining the mood because of my introvertedness? I've never talked behind their backs so I know for sure it wasn't something I said.
Honestly I don't know anymore. I'm not hurt that they went out and hung out without me (maybe just a little hurt cuz of the sushi)... I'm hurt because this just confirms all of the paranoia and suspicions I've had. To be fair, they were friends first and they'll probably always have a stronger bond. But I just don't know if they even see me as a friend or if they see me as the girl they took in and now they regret it cuz it's just too much trouble.
about explain your username
I just have a minor panic attack when i'm on the computer
Even worse when its taking so long to open the browser
Why you may ask?
Because my mom screamed at me and told me to go onto the computer because i forgot to tell her that the report cards were coming out
I have really bad memory
So i got onto the computer and started clicking the browser and it wasn't opening and that made me even more scared and i wanted to hurry (oh yeah she hit me before this) so i started speed-clicking the browser to the point i may as well be a human auto-clicker
Anyway
That's over and she apologized so its all good
The problem is when i got onto the computer to go to animeflix i started having a mini panic attack cause i remembered how scared i was and started crying
I tried to remind myself that its over and she's not angry at me anymore
Sadly it didn't work
But it stopped when my mom said she loved me so that reassured me that she wasn't angry at me anymore
But i still got new trauma
Even worse when its taking so long to open the browser
Why you may ask?
Because my mom screamed at me and told me to go onto the computer because i forgot to tell her that the report cards were coming out
I have really bad memory
So i got onto the computer and started clicking the browser and it wasn't opening and that made me even more scared and i wanted to hurry (oh yeah she hit me before this) so i started speed-clicking the browser to the point i may as well be a human auto-clicker
Anyway
That's over and she apologized so its all good
The problem is when i got onto the computer to go to animeflix i started having a mini panic attack cause i remembered how scared i was and started crying
I tried to remind myself that its over and she's not angry at me anymore
Sadly it didn't work
But it stopped when my mom said she loved me so that reassured me that she wasn't angry at me anymore
But i still got new trauma
