soulfulbongos

how satisfying it is when garam finds his rachmaninoff not inside his own darkness, but through his ability to endure and even love the professor's darkness. i do worry how much garam's sound and music is tied to the professor (the codependency is severe) but i also love how insane and obsessed they are about one another and would be sad if they achieve 'normalcy.' maybe that's impossible knowing where they started from, but it's beginning to feel like their relationship is fulfilling and sustaining in a way it wasn't before. they've both transformed one another but I can't let go of my anxieties that it's too good to be true... perhaps compton is brainwashing me too...

i can't help but feel pity for compton ( or cumdump or condom or whatever nickname the chat has given him now) because you can see how much he loved and admired the professor in his need to rip away and 'save' every student from the maestro (save himself, really). did the maestro do something uniquely evil to him? or did compton go falling in love, thinking he was so special, all on his own, and couldn't handle the truth?

i wonder if we'll ever return to the characters from the first arc in the university.
don't know if i'm misremembering, but didn't garam ask the professor for a favour-- to bar one of his old classmates from performing at a venue or something? that made me curious since garam doesn't seem the type to hold grudges. and i want to see what youngjo and naeun are up to and their reactions to garam--his artistry and confidence as he is now. i LOVE that the author never made him some mega talented genius. it's been gradual and painstaking the whole way.

also need to find out about heejae's old manager/lover... but i also love the way he exists as this incorporeal spectre haunting heejae's every moment alone.

for free...all of it...and caught up at such a perfect part. oh boy. i cannot wait to see how everything falls apart. this has such beautiful art and storytelling... this yearning is like crack to me. i just ate that red sauce at the chinese restaurant and went crazy