soulfulbongos's Topics (25)

for free...all of it...and caught up at such a perfect part. oh boy. i cannot wait to see how everything falls apart. this has such beautiful art and good storytelling... this yearning is like crack to me. i just ate that red sauce at the chinese restaurant and went crazy

i wish i found this later bc it's so good.

i love how messy and real this feels. the characters are flawed, selfish, and unkind, but human, and they love how humans love: irrationally and desperately.

i appreciate how this manga captures the complications of bisexuality and its clashes with conformity. do you go after who you love, when you're not even sure what love is, and the world is screaming that your love is wrong, and there's a 'better' option? do you keep hurting your partner because you can't commit, or do you end it, even when you want it so badly? because kyouichi wants it so badly.

when kissing imagase, kyouichi spots his own blurry eyes in the mirror, lost in lust, and can barely reconcile that version of himself with the imagined one in his mind... the moment reprised at the end, when he sees himself as imagase is penetrating him--the final emasculation, no turning back--and imagase covers kyoichi's eyes... if you make an escape route, a man will escape. cornered mouse, there's nowhere to go here. you've got your final slice of cheese.

this can't end well, but oh how you want so badly for both of them to be happy! but can a selfish, cowardly man like kyouichi ever truly commit? will he take what he has for granted, searching for escape to a better option once the novelty and initial rush fades? always turning towards who will love him the most, the best, because he can't believe in his own worth? can't believe he can love right? and will imagase ever be satisfied and secure? will he ever let the paranoia rest? they're happy now, can they be happy forever? maybe if they can grow and change, but can they? ough it hurts so good.

will preface by saying i don't think this manga is Bad. it had Vibes, but...

it kinda dodged the exploration of shou's dark urges, or just diverts to a different direction than i was expecting. "what i was feeling for you wasn't an urge to destroy. it was love from the start" good for him but not the climax i was looking forward to... like taking a sip of orange juice that's actually milk. like, it's fine, but i wanted orange juice... even when shou smashes keijirou with a vase and ties him up, shou's just lashing out because he's hurt/jealous, not really exploring his sexual desires in that moment.

stepping into the dominant/sadistic mindset is a personal interest of mine because i feel as if a lot of bl always take the pov of the bottom. nothing wrong with that--often, it's people's preference--but it leaves us with a shallow understanding of the top's perspective at times. i want to see his anxieties. how do you balance someone else's pleasure, and your own? is there an internal battle? what about a callousness? if there's empathy or guilt, and to what degree?

and i guess i just never bought into the chemistry between them. they felt like temporary bandages to each other's wounded psyches. kei's loneliness leading him to date a minor. shou's secret twisted lusts drawing him to seek out strangers (and where are the twisted lusts hmmmm??! the initial build up is so good).

and the ending with the time skip was super rushed...

he'd learn some things, you know?

lot of interesting themes: what is gender identity? what does it mean to like someone? (does that mean you get to monopolize them? what do they owe you of themselves?) what is lust? is lust inherently dirty? why do the people we love not like us back? how do i truly connect with the people i want to connect to? is there a fundamental, unbreachable distance between boys and girls? how is sex supposed to feel?

you should never read oshimi at face value. I've seen people say kei (or alice) was being predatory to youhei at first, playing into negative stereotypes of the over-sexualized transgender body, but if you stay with the narrative, you'll see that's the opposite of what oshimi is trying to say. kei wants to be closer to youhei because they have connections beyond their bodies or lusts (they want to escape into each other, to grasp that simple joy that used to be so easy in childhood) and is trying to do it the wrong way, because society doesn't necessarily have a roadmap for the kind of connection kei wants. but kei does know that society constantly tells you sex brings you closer to someone. everyone wants sex. sexual attraction (mitani's confession) was one of the instigating motivations behind kei's self-realization and gender expression. It's impossible to totally avoid the concept, and maybe kei's obsessions begin with a rejection of society's messages and rules.

let's all renounce gender and transcend to the sky with life-partners who understand the most intimate, free parts of ourselves, yeah?

I highly recommend this video:
The Incel to Trans Pipeline and Inside Mari: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAA1XtDOuH8

don't wait, start now, start yesterday, you want to be reading this. in the future, you have already read this. And you loved it. in any life where you failed to read this, you lived a sadder existence. in the parallel universe where shirahama never wrote this, the world was more bleak. alltimer. whatever you think this is about, it's better. actually don't even think about it. STOP THINKING! Why hesitate when you could be READING!

mpreg. that's based?

delightfully irreverent but never shallow. floated through this like it was the lazy river. please let me float forever. wow... nestled in between the cute gags about what an oblivious airhead sekine-kun is, are the most lassez-faire depictions of sexual abuse ive ever seen. so absurd and jarring its both comical and painful how dissociated sekine-kun is from his life.

sekine is capable, enviable, pitiful, relatable, oblivious, tragic, and in love. ahh shoujo, for a second i can pretend men have hidden depths (joke). the depths were definitely a surprise to sekine-kun...

i don't think i can accurately describe the whimsical and charming atmosphere of the characters and dialogue. you have to feel it.

"my hobbies include popping bubble wrap"
"i can't deal with skinny women...when i look at them i imagine their joints breaking with a snap and their bodies folded up into a package."

i was so moved by the perfectly constructed tension and yearning! oh does this yearn! must have hit even better savouring each chapter week to week... a funny, smart and dreamy story that makes me want to believe in love...

or i haven't read enough of asada's works brb