Real Life Problems

i don't know i am feeling
i don't know how to say about the things i feeling now days but it's like there is friend of mine we are so good friends but there was a girl is like when we were in school. i don't like that but when we came in 11 class my friend leaves school that girl she like we happens to be in same class in some time we become so good friends she has own group of friends but she told be things about her life she was not able to tell anyone till now it's not like i meant too much in her life but she prioritize me too we became too good with each other she is one of them who tells me about the things i don't know about myself and i think i fell in love with her
But they both now days like each other too they do things like couple do online taking loving prioritizing each other and fights too break each other heart while saying abusing things, words that can shake your whole soul but still came back to each other. i am friends with both of them it's not that i am not happy about them but there is lump in my throat that achs that i am not the who should be there and i know that i would never be able to because my friends love her too much that maybe i am never be able too love her like she do
So the things should i just being friends with them and never tell how i fell
or should i go tell her leaves my both friends and never look back again

times are tuff so I needed to find new ways to make some extra cash. if you were to hop dih for money how much would y'all charge

i have a feeling that my friends have changed since they got a boyfriend. one of my friends got a boyfriend, and she hangs out with her bf's friends alot. i have no problem with that, but one day she came to meet me. and we were just hanging out, and we decided we'll go have some chai(tea) from outside in the evening. her bf and his friends live nearby, and she had to give something to her bf, so i had no problem inviting them for chai as well. we get to the market, and her bf's friends decide that they'll have egg rolls from some shop before. now, i live in a place where there's a curfew time (9:30 pm) so i can't be late. they're all boys (except me and my friend) so they don't have any curfew time (and my friend's curfew time is 10:15 pm). she already knew that my curfew time is earlier, and i even mentioned it half an hour beforehand. ofcourse, i can't mention it in front of her boyfriend and his friends that “hey, we decided on having chai, so why the sudden change of plans, when it was YOU who wanted to meet me in the first place”. (she was the one who was adamant on wanting to come to my room, and hanging out. i suggested going to some fun place, and she refused bc she has already been there THRICE with her boyfriend. so i was like okay, next time. she also had an exam coming up 2 days ahead. so i suggested meeting up after her exam, but she was adamant so i was like "okay no problem from my side").
so ofcourse the order is late, and the shop we went to was predominantly a non-vegetarian food catering shop. they do have veg options (like, 2 or 3). i'm the only one who has veg food choices, i'm not asking them to be veg like me, i have no problem with their eating choices. but it just felt like they didn't consider my eating choices at all. (am i being entitled here? i don't know. i know i shouldn't ask them to go to a veg-only shop but going to a place where veg options are limited when you have someone who's veg is a bit ignorant to me. it's like going to a cafe with limited non-lactose options when one of the person is lactose intolerant. we can just go to a place where either non-lactose options are plentiful so everyone can choose accordingly. i would do that, even if i'm not lactose intolerant, bc i know one of my friends is). now the order is late, so i have to get my portion packed (i didn't even want to order it) and we didn't have chai, and now i have to walk to my place alone at night all bc her boyfriend and co. decided something else. great!
i just felt a bit sad bc i can't say to HER bf that we had different plans before (it would be rude, I'm not friends with her bf right?) but she could've said it and she didn't. didn't even message me to ask if i reached my place or not. then next day, posts in our friend group the pictures of her hanging out with them and it looks like i was the one who joined their hangout impromptu(we had this friend group before she and 2 of my other friends got a bf). crazy.
i just feel like they're losing me, honestly. i won't say it to their faces bc what can i even say? but i can feel the cracks slipping in, and i have started feeling nostalgic, missing the friendship even if we are still friends. i really like spending time with them, but it seems like they've changed, and my space in their life has decreased. we've gone distant, now all we ever talk is about her bf or what she's upto, i feel like i have nothing to contribute to the conversation. i can talk about my research project and career uncertainties but it brings up a sad vibe so we don't talk about it much. i am forgetting what did we even talk about before they got a bf?
i have always felt that girls change after getting a bf, i don't like it honestly. they'll say they haven't changed, but i feel it. is it just means or girls with bfs are just so exhausting to hang out with?
i still love my friends, but it's different now. i love what we used to be before boys came into picture.
they're really losing me. i feel like i'm being left behind. and all because what? i don't have a boyfriend? i don't even want a boyfriend. a girl gets a bf and suddenly wants all her friends to find a bf too like what?