URMOM's Questions (56)

Hey friend thanks for sharing and asking for help! Life can feel so stifling sometimes especially when you’re already dealing with so much. I just want you to know the first step to change is realizing that something is wrong. Identifying what is making you hopeless, like a job like family like a person like finances, is leading you on a better path to figuring out what you need to do for yourself to get out of that situation. I don’t know what your going through, but I want to say you are worth it, put your confidence into yourself and believing you can do more with what circumstances you were given, and knowing that’s not what you deserve. That’s how I changed my life for the better. It’s tough, but I remember I’m worth the hassle and the work to be happy and live freely. Hope this helps

Yes! During uni/after graduation I really struggled to get an internship/job. I actually had a family member invent an internship for me at their work since I couldn’t find anything and wouldn’t be able to graduate without one. I was really discouraged and felt like I was hopeless and so far behind compared to my friends who were able to find stuff easily.

About 6 months after graduation I finally landed a job at a decent company. I felt really hopeless about my future but things were able to change and get better!

there's always hope for change in your future, but you have to make the change happen by yourself. i know i say it like it's easy but the only way for you to make it happen is to trust yourself. you're capable of doing great things, and if you continue to try you will succeed and finally see the light you wish for. the only thing to do is stay alive and try again and again until you do what you wanted to. ofc it's not easy but your friends will be here for you and support through this, so dont lose hope, you can do it

maybe let's try to slowly do things that you don't normally do just to break the cycle of doing the same thing, I think it's okay to feel helpless seeing no future for yourself is okay there's no expectations for yourself, just living and you seeking out for yourself is also a great change. So continue living and try to do new things. I know that it's easier said than done but hope u can still try. Thank you also for sharing this having courage is also a step ahead, you can also message me if you want someone to talk to.

Not fully changed no, but I have finally gotten good medical help for my depression.

All I can really say is try to be kind to yourself. Don't think too much about the past and not too far ahead in the future. If you need escape thru reading, do it. It's okay. When you have better days, do the things that need doing. Even doing just a small thing is enough. You are precious despite the hardships.

If you have close family members or friends, let them help. If you dont have that support, try reach out to someone. Anyone. You are not alone.

Hey, I just wanted to tell you that evb has their own path, and you don't have to find your own right away just because you're in your 20s. Society normalized being stable wayyyy too early. When you truly think about it 20years is actually nothing, you're still seen as young and not eldery when you're 45. Life is actually soooo long, don't give up so early!! It's probably not easy right now and feel lonely and hellish, but don't be so harsh on yourself. Even if you're alone right now, you will find your people one day, no matter how long it takes. And even if your family gave up on you, don't give up or yourself or it will really be over. It's not gonna take one day, nor a month, it will be hard and probably long, but as long as you want to try, and actually try, it will get better ! This may sound like empty words but it genuinely do get better, and when it will do, the happiness you'll feel will be worth all the hardships you went through in order to get better. Listen to upbeat songs, consume lighthearted contents, do things that make you happy, start going on walks little by little, uplift yourself everyday... and don't stay on social media for too long, shit really impacts your mental health in every way possible.
Im sorry if I sounded insensitive or unhelpful at some parts, and genuinely pray that you'll get better. Never give up on yourself!!! And always keep in mind that you're the most important person of your world, and you gotta cherish them and take care of them in every way you can. Stay safe

thank u it really means allot to see someone actually take the time to read and reply thank u allot truly

Dw it's not the end of the world. Focus on changing your mindset and how you view yourself. The world is full of ppl who want to see the worst in ppl so at the very least let yourself be the one constant person that loves you. There are plenty of other people that drop of of uni and are in your situation so plz don't think that this is the end of the road. Everybody has different paths and different times. Life is not a race, so it's ok to take it easy and focus on yourself. Sometimes you need to be comfortable with your own presence before being able to accept other people into your life. Right now it might seem like you're all alone and that no one is willing to lend a hand, so the best thing to do is to give yourself that hand. Try going to the park and taking pictures, catching a movie, going to a concert, learning a new hobby.. these are all things you can learn to do alone while also being able to talk to people around you if you feel confident enough. Abt your family, try to open up with them Abt how you feel. Idk know your family's relationship so only do it if you feel comfortable and if they turn a blind eye or make you feel even worse than they are not good people. Life is all about ups and downs all you can do is pick yourself up, and most of all it's ok to feel these things and stay stagnant for a while just remember to keep moving forward when you're ready and don't give up yet bc life has a funny way of making the best things in life awfully difficult to get. Regrets are always gonna be present so do your best to do things you know you won't regret. You should try listening to music cleaning your space, watching a video while cooking, looking at the sky for a couple of minutes each day while reflecting on yourself, small changes that can help make chores that are difficult to do while having depression more digestable. Listen it's ok to cry, cry all you want let it all out each day and give yourself some sympathy and it might just help clear your mind.

It's really nothing dw<3 I hope I have been of help even a little bit!!

Everyone has that time in their life and I understand it, I don’t really have the best advice but tbh I’m not sure if your a religious person but tbh you only life life once and you should try to make that your best one.

If you're a dude then not until you're like forty or you stop dyeing your hair and they turn white
If you're a girl then before you even turn 18 probably 16 or younger

Probably anything past 19, the 20s is the start of so many adult obligations that you have to meet

that’s so misogynistic when most men bald early

Yea true but would u consider someone at 25 old ?

At whatever age you start looking 30

I fear aging so much it give s me anxiety

Personally I think 28+, bcs 20-25 still feels like ur clumsily navigating adulthood

I know but where I'm from that's exactly how most people think and it's disgusting

I'd say when ur pushing 30 when you're 28 turning 29

Honestly like be as childish as you want bruh it's your life!!! YOLO But I'd say 28 would be pushing 30.... LOL

Are they stupid pushing 30 is someone whose age is close to that, like from 27 to 29, not someone who just started their 20s

Wait I might have misread lmao, I thought someone told you you're acting childish and you're pushing 30

Sorry gng

do they not know the early, mid and late stage of age? Like early 20's mid 20's late 20's

Nvm it's actually that I'm so stupid.

Anyway this type of people are always so bitter and projecting like wdym you have a problem with someone living their life the way they want to

people downvoting are just trash on earth,

but hey. idk how old you are n stuff but having insecurities is normal. lets go one by one

saggy breasts are normal, all breasts sag. thats just biology is, skin stretches, breasts are masses of tissue basically anyways.

hips dips are natural, thats how bones and flesh work. a normal person no matter what will have a "dip" uness posed or genuinely built different or shit

stomachs can never be "flat" they change according to a womans cycle, and having some belly, againisnt some crime. normal. human.

having big thighs, all bodies store fat differently, having thick thighs isnt even a a bad thing, they can honestly be so attractive, and personally i find them really good too! feels very cozy id say!

there is alot you can do to feel better about yourself and gain confidence, not fitting into a mold doesnt make you ugly, but cowering and losing confidence and kindess to yourself can affect how you and others perceive you.

feeling the need to let it out is also normal, healthy. this isnt something you can just blurt out t someone irl anyways, so no need to apologise. and there are alot of people out there in this world, not everyone is into the same big boobs, slim body type women, humans come in all different shape and sizes and so does the love they harbour.

Don't worry about the people down voting this some unemployed loser spend their time down voting all the comments in this section of the site. I know nothing I say will really make you feel better but please remember if you always talk down on yourself you'll only feel worse start praising yourself and all your qualities

same. been there. but what else can we do ? i personally don’t wanna live with any regrets. i feel like, the day i turn 60, and i look back at my youth, ill be so utterly disappointed at myself for hiding my body and not being able to do stuff everyone can do just because i didn’t have « the perfect body ».
i know what im saying wont probably help you, but you’re not alone.

social media make you feel like having a short torso is wrong, but it’s not. you don’t need a long torso, you just need the right clothes that fit your body type, and it will look exactly the same as if you had a long torso. you’re still beautiful even if you don’t have the said perfect body. people’s opinion don’t matter, they don’t define you. you’re not unlovable at all. people don’t always have the said perfect body, they’re just confident.

i’ve never met an ugly woman. they are all beautiful in their own ways, saggy boobs, short torso, stretch marks or even hips dips are ALL normal. you just never get to actually see them on social media because nobody shows what a real body looks like.

loving and accepting ur body is the strongest thing someone can do. it will never be easy. and it will take time, but i see you, and im really hoping that one day you can feel comfortable in your body. you’re more than just a body, live your life with joy. hips dips are SEXY

i know everything that we say, every logical explanation won’t help you. but really, you’re not alone at all babe. just know that.

I’m genuinely puzzled by the downvotes on this post. :(

I can relate to your situation. I’m incredibly ashamed of my current body and feel embarrassed to meet friends in person due to the significant changes I’ve undergone. However, I’m gradually working on rebuilding my confidence. It’s perfectly acceptable to express your feelings. Sometimes, letting it all out once in a while can provide relief and emotional well-being. So, don’t feel guilty for venting. But remember, you deserve love and acceptance. It’s going to be a challenging journey for you, me, and others. One thing I’ve found helpful is to stop criticizing myself. I still have those negative thoughts when I look in the mirror, but I refuse to voice them. The more I repeat these thoughts, the more I believe they’ll manifest. So, I’ve started practicing self-affirmations and praising myself for my progress. I’m taking small steps, one day at a time. I’m also making efforts to change my bad habits, even if they’re minor ones. I’m confident that with discipline, these changes will have a more significant impact. Everyone’s way is different, but if mine is kind of working right now, maybe it’ll help you too.

Thank you to everyone else who left thoughtful comments. It means a lot <3

Thank u everyone for the replies it means allot truly

Hi op, I know the title says ignore but I am hard-headed. I won't pretend to know you. I haven't a clue how old you are or where you come from. The world is harsh but we are harsher still. Be patient with love, it will find you I promise. There is honestly someone for everyone. You are not alone in your feelings but start loving you first op. Please take care.

I found my people

I know want you mean, sometimes it feels like you are walking down a path that leads to a place you do not want to go. I know it feels like that is all you can do, as if others are try to make you fit the mold that they followed in life, it might not feel like there is anything good to come but sometimes you just have to remember you only get one chance to be here, don’t give that chance away, you will never get it back.

I’m so sorry you’re going through that :(( you are perfect the way you are, humans are so diverse and what you are insecure about someone else surely finds appealing. We are more critical on ourselves because that’s all we see 24/7 and that makes us pick apart the tiniest ‘flaws’. You should love yourself first before worrying about anyone else. Also, that is very normal anatomy, people usually wear push-up bras to seem perkier than they are but we are all human and it is normal. I hope you heal sis

I am so sorry you went through something so traumatic. I pray God instills peace into your heart, and heals your scars.

Self love is a journey which is different for everyone. You may not understand the emotions you feel currently, but God will make a way in which where you will find purpose in loving yourself.

I'm literally sobbing for you.

As long as they started this relationship at an age where they're considered adults (20+) then it's fine, or normal. But the age gap is crazy though hahaha

This is all my opinionnnnnnnn. I mean it makes me question some things for sure. Yeah it's perfectly legal and all but why as a 44 year old would ya wanna date a 23 year old? Like that person is in a completely different stage of their life, still learning certain things. I would want someone with the same knowledge and life experience as me or at least somewhat close to it. I'm still in my 20's and a 30 year old feels like a completely different level of adult, so 40's is definitely up there. I know when I'm in my 40's, someone in their early 20's is gonna feel like a kid lmao. Like what draws a person in their 40's to someone in their 20's is what I would ask I guess

Exactly omg

Personally, I don’t think so. Your brain isn’t even fully developed until you’re 25 and, either way, a 23yo is a BABY compared to someone that far into adulthood. If it was the same age gap but a 33yo and a 54yo, then that’s a bit better, but overall an age gap that large never sits right with me. If the gap is large enough to where one of them was an adult at the time the other was BORN, then I just get the fucking ick no matter what.

As long as the younger person wasn’t groomed as a minor by the odoer one, and they established the relationship when they were 20+, no one would care if you never said the ages. Nonetheless, it is kinda weird, cuz 23 can be considered a college student

As long as they are 2D handsome men, and the older one looks like teenager, they are fine for me.

girl, that's honestly really disturbing, and i'm sorry you're going through that. loving your mom and recognizing the good she's done doesn't mean you have to accept her behavior. for now focus on your studies and becoming financially independent so you can have more control over your own life and decisions. you deserve to live somewhere your boundaries are respected. this is my genuine advice. i hope you stay strong and heal from everything you're going through.

thank u I decided to ignore it since I can’t do anything against it at this point idc if that weird man gonna goon or god knows what to these pic of me if she gonna do these I wish she would pay me atleast in exchange so I could get something out of it

Okay...I first saw this and I'm wishing this is not true because what the actual fuck is this. you're mom is supposed to be someone by your side to make you comfortable in life and I don't know how you could even love her (no judging)I only wish for her phone to be cracked and for when she shits she breathes and resets her progress this is extremely disturbing and I hope she knows what she's doing wrong. I was wondering if you can stay at a friend's or relatives place or just delete the photos and videos she records because if she doesn't I am pulling up and kidnapping you because no one deserves to be used like this and I hope that you are old enough to be able to live by yourself and if you are going to be in college apply for a different country's college. I hope u stay safe and have someone close to be able to comfort you and hold you

Im at my worst right now I dropped out of college due to depression and I currently don’t have any friends I live with my parents now tryna get a job so I can save up money hopefully move out in the future since I’m broke now and get back to uni my family doesn’t want me to move out cause they think a women doing that means she is whoring around so I will know they will disown me in the future ugh idk man I don’t want my family seeing me as whore , slut but that’s the only way I can live in peace

Man all I can say is no matter what the situation is I hope you can find a good way out of it or idk but I hope you know that no matter what I hope you can find someone there for you because there will be someone by your side. And I hope that you find an amazing job that will not tire you and a good uni that you will find friends for life and a way to get out of that family ASAP I truly wish the best for you because my family r really sexcist and I understand what u mean when they say that u will where around but im really sorry you have to go through this and ik you don't know me buti support you and i hope you can consider me as one of ur supporters

u know u hitting rock bottom if u ask for help on this site it affected so much to the point I thought about selling pics online so I could get back at my mom and make money faster but I know that will just ruin me and my family it means allot thank u for replying truly

That's the most disgusting thing a women can ever do to another women, plus a mother to their daughter. Just because you love your mother doesn't mean your mother has right to cross the boundaries of your privacy. Plus taking photos and videos of you without your consent and sending them to an older man you've already said you don't want to marry is controlling behavior. Why you love your mother is also because of what she has done for you and I can tell how you're feeling. As a daughter you love your mother very and you're very gratitude towards her for everything she has done to you but as a woman, you don't like her. You don't like the way she cross herself.

Talk with your mother for the last time. Tell her how she makes you feel and how you feel, be very honest. Look very serious and all and if she try to deny it or shove it off yell or shout at her to make her understand just for this last time...and if she doesn't then call the police. She is your mother, yes, but the thing she is doing to you is close to a monster does to a child.