Tried To Kill Yourself

I believe in god but question it's existence at the same time I absolutely disgust ppl then again I would be seeking for approval or validation I would say I am not interested in men but if a good looking guy passed by I would be gawking I will say „I'd defo finish this but not do that in the end” I would decide... from tomorrow I would start behaving consistently but everytime I fail....

for anyone with abusive parents, how do you learn to distance yourself, to not place your value on what they think of you, to avoid all contact with them?

I just want to get away from them and live alone but im in hs right now. im planning on getting a job so I have no reliance on them financially. all they do is scream at me for my grades (lowest is a 95), tell me im not doing enough, and won't make it in life.

has anyone ever had parents like this? please help. logically, I know theyre insane and I shouldn't listen to what they say. emotionally, they're my parents, and my mental health has gotten so bad. once I begin applying for colleges, it'll get so much worse. I feel so scared at home knowing that at any time they'll barge in and scream at me for hours on end