There was an unequal balance of influence and control, which lead to coercion (you said "no stop" and he didn't respect it thinking he had authority and control over your feelings and decision) so clearly there was a power dynamics involved. I sincerely hope you well, nobody deserves to go through that. reply
That is assault. And I'm so sorry, it sucks so much I know. You got to cut him off. He doesn't respect your boundaries and consent, and no matter how nice he was in the beginning, it's no excuse. And remember you can always choose to revoke consent, even in the middle of it. reply
I was 16 when I made my first serious attempt. Before that i had try to do it but was honestly too scared to do so. Then something big happened in my life that made me do it. I remember after i opened my eyes, the only person i saw was my father, staring at me, crying. That was the first time I had seen him cry. He hugged me and made me promise to ...... 2 reply
For me, I wasn't into dudes from the start, throughout middle-school till the first year of high school I was always interested in women and had a relationship with one, it wasn’t until like half the year that I started noticing this one guy, it wasn’t romantically at first, I was just curious and wanted to be his friend, never tried anything t...... reply
There's a very clear power dynamic here, he's older and knows what he's doing, he sounds like he wanted to pursue you into sexual stuff, but didn't want anything deeper that's why he said no kissing cus he didn't want you to get clingy and think there's more to it, when it happened, in his head he hit the jackpot, that's why when you wanted to stop...... reply
ive been struggling with depression since i was around 7-8 years old, and i swore up and down that i would die before i turned 18. Back to back id have attempted to end it just to end up in the hospital again. Therapist after therapist trying to undo damage caused by my environment.
one day i was sitting outside after having a particularly shit d...... 2 reply
I had sort of an existential crisis for a while. I had this thought like "damn, If I was dead right now, I wouldnt be able to taste this food, or listen to this song, or smile with friends at this moment, or read this book." stuff like that, all throughout the day, I learned to appreciate everyday, mundane things. It isnt a permanent solution becau...... reply
Same here. I remember liking women from as far as I remember. I just thought everyone likes women because they are so gorgeous. That's the earliest j can remember reply
My responsibilities towards my family is what’s keeping me alive.
Ever since the passing of my brother I’m always ready to die at any given point of my life. But my responsibility is holding me back.
Whatever it is , no matter how small or trivial. As long as it’s keeping you alive, do it. I hope you keep winning against yourself. 1 reply
Please remember that you can withdraw consent at any time. You were raped. You don't have to fight you don't have to scream you just have to say you want to stop. I'm so sorry that happened to you. From experience I know it's tempting to deny it and try to excuse it because it's so hard to face it and admit you were raped. It's a very difficult thi...... reply
a couple of weeks after my attempt I started to accept a lot of my self-indulgences, like eating more sugar than I should, or reading stupid ass shit. I used to feel like a failure when doing these things but now I just do them because I realize that it's keeping me alive.
no!! consent can be withdrawn ANY time, if you said you didn't want to do it anymore even if you initially said yes, he should've stopped, especially considering he's older than you. it's something that was heavily stressed by my teachers when teaching us about consent, and it's something that sources online agree about as well. what he did WAS ass...... reply
regardless of everything else, in the moment, he had physical (close, intimate contact, in a vulnerable position) and emotional leverage (you didn't want to disappoint or "lead him on") over you to get what he wanted despite your wishes.
consent is ongoing and revocable. if person A and person B agree to do actions 1, 2 and 3, that does not mean ...... reply
I know this is weird, but when I feel like the emphasis on a characters proportions is wayyy to sexual I imminently get pissed and just have to leave cause like why does it look like your doing the most, arching your back chest busted out when you father just died or something? Like no 1 reply
once you're past childhood, it's not a straightforward monkey-see-monkey-do effect where people blindly repeat or mimic what they see in media, especially fiction. people love to trot out the "fiction doesn't affect reality" line, but it's really more complicated than saying "no real humans were harmed, so everything goes in fiction".
fiction is an...... reply
i am friends with a guy who’s 4 years older than me who is pursuing graduate studies and i am an undergrad.
we met through a club and second semester we realized he was my ta for a class last semester. we grew super close super quick but we never wanted to date each other. we text each other on a daily basis with good morning and goodnight texts.
friends would make fun of us for hanging out but we found some comfort in each other.
he wanted to set boundaries because he got scared of rumours but we didn’t and we stayed close friends. he was there for me when i needed help when i started meds and then he said he doesn’t want me to be emotional dependant on him.
we continue being friends and lines started to be crossed. touchy and close and then one day i’m sitting on him and there’s sexual tension. i asked if i could kiss him and he said no which i respected but everything else was fine. everything else was on the table but not the one thing i wanted.
we hooked up consensually and halfway through i was tired and wanted to stop but he said ‘we aren’t quitters, you have to come’. i faked it to get out of the situation but its making me feel gross and shitty for thinking that it was assault even though i consented.
he claimed there was never a power dynamic involved but it really felt like there was.
Pedophiles, shotacons, lolis, rapists, assaulters, just terrible people always say the same thing, “fiction doesn’t affect reality” or along the lines of that. That says a lot of what we should know.. reply
Of course it does! Fiction always contains many triggers. Fiction has a foothold reality base so of course even if 'it is a fictional story' being written, don't care if it is about demons, vampires, psychological genre or whatever, it has a reality basis of social and culture and cues from real life that people associate with and can cause cross...... reply
'Things' are your daily life experiences by which you get to know the world around you. Tell others about the things you did, may it be cool, sad, crazy or funny. You can also find things that you might want to do and a friend to do it with!
